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Are you a zombie?

Updated: Aug 30, 2023

How to tell if you are becoming a zombie
Zombie Prevention Advice

We all know the dangers and concerns with Covid-19 and the flu season. But we could also be facing another epidemic: zombie season. Zombie viruses are common around this time of year and infections can spread rapidly. One minute you're hanging out with your friends, the next, you're hunting them down to gnaw on their flesh. So, what are the signs you may be infected with a zombie virus? If you exhibit any of these six signs below, stay away from me.

1. Drooling. This especially occurs when you smell raw meat. Passing by the meat section in the grocery store with your mom or dad and the front of your shirt is drenched with drool? The beginning of zombie-itis.

2. A strong desire to eat everything with your hands. You no longer eat with utensils. A zombie needs to eat on the run, they have no need for forks or knives.

3. You may normally be uncoordinated on the dance floor but when you're arriving late to school or work because your muscles are getting stiff and body movements are spastic, the zombie virus has progressed to the next stage as your motor skills begin to deteriorate.

4. Vocabulary is suddenly limited. Maybe you won last year's spelling bee championship, but today you can only manage to grunt and groan.

5. Really bad breath. No matter what brand of tooth paste or mouthwash you use, you can't get rid of the bad zombie breath.

6. Strong desire to bite others. Little brother or sister biting you and other family members? They're probably infected with a zombie virus. The final stage of zombieism.

Watch for these signs of infection in your family, friends...yourself. Zombie viruses aren't a joking matter. Stay safe this Halloween.

Badge for testing negative for zombie illness

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